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By now, the Comedy Refinement Process should feel like second nature. You look through the things you wrote down, form them into jokes, write new jokes from scratch, and fix the old ones that look fixable.
Arrange them with the hardest hitting jokes at the beginning and end. Give your untried material a safe space in the middle of your act. Graduate any jokes that are ready for Group One.
This week, let’s get specific. During an Open Mic, we once witnessed a beginner comic tell a joke that we can use as an example.
The comic targeted a low-income town, using a stock device that’s often seen on the road.
They asked the audience which town everyone thinks sucks, and then they slammed it with generic “Mad Libs” bits that could apply to any crappy place. Let’s call this town “Junktown” to protect the comic’s identity.
The Joke:
“I want to do something a little different. Can I read a poem I wrote about the young woman I saw working at the Subway in Junktown?
(pulls out poem, adopts overly emotive, formal voice)
Oh, young lady I saw working at Subway…
(switches to blunt and incredulous)
where are your teeth!? Where are your fucking teeth! And without teeth, how did you find someone to get you pregnant?”
First of all, we’d like to point out that we don’t particularly like this joke. It’s mean-spirited and targets a low-status person whose only offence was being poor.
Comedy should challenge us to think and laugh, but punching down at vulnerable individuals isn’t a worthy use of comedic power.
As comedians, we need to consider what kind of messages we’re conveying and whether they align with our values or stage persona.
The joke also lacks believability. While jokes don’t have to be true, if you present something as true, it should seem plausible to the audience.
The idea that Subway hired a toothless employee in Junktown seems far-fetched and takes away from the joke’s impact.
However, we won’t dismiss the joke entirely. It did get a laugh, and as we’ve said before, laughs are precious in the early stages of a comedian’s journey. But we must work on refining it to make it stronger.
Let’s start by cutting unnecessary setup lines. The line “I want to do something a little different” can be removed as it doesn’t add anything to the joke. Instead, make a confident declarative statement like,
“I am now going to read a poem about the young woman I saw working at the Subway in Junktown.”
The comic sets the audience’s expectations by physically pulling out the poem, indicating that it’s something special and not just improvised like their other material.
This generates curiosity among the crowd as Junktown Subway employees aren’t usually the subjects of poetry.
Now, let’s consider the content of the poem itself. It begins with
“Oh, young lady I saw working at Subway…”
which is short and mirrors the setup. However, we can explore making the language more colourful without adding too many syllables. For example, changing “young lady” to “spry maiden” might add a touch of archaic humour that contrasts with the punchline.
Speaking of the punchline, it’s crucial to keep it sharp and impactful. The comic delivers “Where are your teeth!?” in a tone of fear and disbelief, which works well.
However, they could experiment with other emotions like intense concern or even detached delivery for a slightly delayed but potentially bigger laugh.
After getting the first laugh, the joke loses momentum with two chuckles.
It’s essential to consider whether additional lines add anything new or just force small laughs by making the audience uncomfortable.
In this case, it might be best to cut the profanity and the mention of pregnancy, as they don’t contribute much
By eliminating unnecessary elements and refining the wording, the joke can be transformed into a lean, impactful two-liner. This approach makes the punchline hit harder and empowers the surprise at the heart of the joke.
Remember, jokes like this might be necessary to keep in your act when you have limited material.
But as you grow and have more to choose from, consider cutting those that don’t align with your best comedic self.
Right let’s dive into some more assignments!
Make sure you get your set ready just like you’ve been doing in the past few weeks. Keep an eye on the example mentioned above as you go through the process.
Update your bit list accordingly, moving any killer jokes to “Group One,” and take a break from those jokes the audience has heard way too much for about a month.
Time to hit the stage! Give it your best shot at the three Open Mics lined up.
Keep pushing your set forward to that five-minute Showcase Set with all the Group One bits.
Task 2: Take Note
Start jotting down notes after each set you perform in a notebook or a notepad file.
At the top of each page, note the date and venue where you performed.
You may also include some contextual notes about the night, like “small crowd” or “followed a guy who bombed.” Next, assess how each individual joke fared and jot down any observations that provide insight into your act.
You can keep it simple by putting a star next to each bit that went well and a question mark next to any bit that encountered problems.
Add a sentence or two about anything that stood out to you.
By reviewing these notes every month, you can track your progress and gain valuable insights to enhance your act further.
We encourage you to set a Performance Goal for your open mic set this week!.
Choose one aspect unrelated to your writing that you’d like to improve this week. It could be anything:
Focusing on a single performance element at a time enhances your set effectively.
Next week, dedicate your focus to the chosen performance aspect and see the difference it makes in your act.
Check out these videos:
After answering the usual questions you’ve been asking since the Greg Giraldo video in Week One, create a list of observations.
Take note of the various things both comedians do to amplify the impact of their words.
This includes gestures, sound effects, movements, changes in voice tone, facial expressions, and anything else you notice.
Aim to spot at least twenty-five of these elements as you prepare for next week’s focus on performance.
Recognise the amount of thought that goes into enhancing a comedy act at the highest level.
You may find even more than twenty-five, so keep your observations detailed and comprehensive.
This is an adaptation of the free 12 week course Jon Roy offers HERE
Learn more about the Comedy Basics here
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